Briebart Is Too a Homosexual Conservative!

My wife didn't believe me that Andrew Breitbart is gay, but you know, honey, one picture is worth a thousand words.

(Mr. Breitbart is the one on the right).

Not that there's anything wrong with being a homosexual.

As long as they hate taxes and call the NAACP racists, what homosexuals do with their bodies how, where, when and why, is not my concern.

Loving Looks, Tentative Touching, Mission Accomplished

Okay, let me say this again. There's nothing wrong with being a homosexual. I just didn't realize that there are so many conservative homosexuals. All you have to do is look at these pictures of George W. and Dick Cheney to see they were more than just good friends. You can almost hear what Cheney's thinking:

"Gosh, Junior is so good-looking. I hope I can hang on to him for both terms."











"Football players slap each other on the ass all the time and nobody says they're queer."

"I hope he wants to go West Winging as badly as I do!"








"Oh, Junior, thank you, from the bottom of my heavily stented heart."

My Revelation

As a long-time conservative, it's hard for me to admit the grand old conservative movement has been taken over by homosexuals.

Not that I have anything against homosexuals. No, no, not at all. I have some friends at work who are homosexuals. One of them hates paying taxes as much as I do!

You see, I was watching that fellow Andrew Brietbart -- you know the one who does those great undercover news stories about how African-American people are racists -- and it suddenly occurred to me how gay he is!

Look at the neatly trimmed goatee, the nicely-pressed suit, the obviously much fussed-over hair -- he's even got sideburns -- the pink shirt: he's gay. I mean Totally Gay.

Not that I have anything against gay people. In fact, I'm pretty much a libertarian on gay issues. As long as they hate taxes and communists as much as I do, they're okay by me!

Next time, I'll "out" Dick Cheney and George W. Bush -- the gayest conservative couple ever!